The Uber -Politeness of the Japanese

One of the first things that strikes the traveler in Japan is how polite the Japanese are. I had read about this trait but , even so , I was taken aback by the extraordinary politeness of the Japanese. Every transaction , every interaction with a Japanese person seems conclude with a little bow and the words ” Arigato . Arigato gozaimas.” ( Thank you , Thank you very much ). This happens at the convenience store where you buy a ready made meal , at the grocery store , at the ticket window where you purchase a railway ticket , at the hospitality counter and so on . At department stores , there are young women strategically placed at the foot of the elevator or near the exit door whose job is to welcome incoming customers or bid goodbye and thank departing patrons . I was amused by the train conductor , who as the subway train was departing the station , leaned out of his window , his hand upraised in a salute. My daughter told me that he was thanking riders for using the subway . Is this normal or was he an aberration ? And does he do this at every single stop , every single day ? It boggles the mind . I will never know the truth of it .
There are those who feel that this seeming politeness is a sham , that these gestures are meaningless rituals devoid of genuine feeling . I beg to differ. It may be that these niceties have become ingrained in the Japanese and are automatic but that does not mean that they are insincere. Our stay in Japan this time was only a week but I was very appreciative of how helpful the Japanese are to strangers . Every single person that we met was not just polite ; they were nice and eager to help in any way they could . One of the random acts of kindness that we experienced took place as we were returning from the Sensoji shrine . Near the subway entrance was a vendor selling dried candied fruit in little plastic bags . There were strawberries , persimmons , apricots and a number of others and the price was 1,000 yen a bag . We finally made up our minds and asked for two bags , one of strawberries and another of persimmons . The young man nodded , opened two of the bags in his tabletop display and filled them to the brim with more fruit before packing them up. He did that on his own , without saying a word . I didn’t see him doing that for any of his other customers. All we could say to him , as we handed him the money , was ” Arigato. Arigato gozaimas. ”
Is all this politeness wearying ? Do Japanese chafe at all the bowing and thank yous ? I do not think so.
Japanese society is rigid and heirarchal ( so I’ve read). Notions of seniority and the respect to be accorded to seniors are deeply ingrained . At family gatherings and at workplace meetings , how low you bow is dictated by the seniority of the person to whom you are bowing .If he is your senior , you bow low . His return bow is not as low. The exchange of bows is indicative of mutual respect and , therefore, bowing is not a sign of abasement as it is in other societies.
I haven’t been to Korea yet but in China we encountered some of the same behavior that we saw in Japan . At the doors of upper class restaurants, there would be two or three giggling young girls smartly clad in red uniforms who would hold the door open and chorus a welcome. It was a nice touch , maybe , but I never got the sense that it was more than a job for them . The average big- city Chinese whom we met was pushy and brusque to the point of rudeness. As China continues to rise in the world ,the natural pride of the Chinese seems to be slowly turning into arrogance .
They are a far cry from the Japanese whose politeness , whether natural or feigned , make them a pleasure to deal with. I wish the rest of us were more like them.
P.S. Someone who has lived in Japan for a long time told me that if you look out of the window as your airplane prepares for takeoff, you will see the ground crew lined up at the edge of the runway, bowing to you for having patronized their airline . I didn’t have a window seat and couldn’t verify the truth of this statement but I wouldn’t be surprised if it is true … I wouldn’t be at all surprised.