Yesterday, my wife and I went to the nearby Jade Garden Retaurant for lunch . We placed our orders and while we were waiting for them to arrive I glanced at the paper placemat. It was about the Chinese Zodiac and I immediately noticed that one of the zodiac signs had been changed . 2007 was now designated as the year of the Boar ; previously , it would have been the Year of the Pig. I remembered that I had read that the Chinese government was trying to be more sympathetic to Muslim sensibilities. I suppose that this was one way of doing so, the pig being considered unclean by Muslims.
No problem. Boar, Pig ; it doesn’t make any difference to me. But then I started reading the description of persons born under the sign of the Horse, my sign. Among other things, it said ” You are often ostentatious and impatient. ” Well, o-k-a-y . I don’t think so, but I can take a little criticism. Then , it went on ” Marry a Tiger or a Dog, but never a Rat.” I searched frantically and found my wife was a Boar. Whew, that ‘s bad but at least she wasn’t a Rat. And, in future, if we don’t see eye to eye, I will tell myself that it isn’t her fault ; we were incompatible to begin with.
Worse was to come. Each sign lists the birth years that it applies to but the years listed only go back to 1950. Nothing before that. What does it mean ? I know I’m getting on in years but I’m not that old, am I? I’m still here , dammit. This is a very harsh way of finding out that your sell-by date has already passed.
After the meal, the check arrived with a fortune cookie for each of us. I opened mine and read ” Forbidden fruit creates jams“.
Whatever it was, I didn’t do it !!